I’m back!

Well, sort of.

So, another protracted absence from yours truly, and nary an explanation to be found. Did I stop caring? Had I found something else to occupy my time? Had I run out of things to write?

While the last sentence has more than a grain of accuracy to it, the truth is I was very unwell. Don’t get me wrong, this was not the kind of unwell that is terminal, but it was the kind of unwell that made a significant impact on my life.

About 7 weeks ago I started getting frequent migraines. I have had them before, on occasion, and they are never a fun event. This time was different. This time I wasn’t recovering. I felt the onset of the first migraine, triggered by a couple of different factors, and braced for the worst. After a couple of days, I wasn’t any better. After a week, I was still no better. A visit to the doctor procured some Triptan based meds, as the usual over the counter meds were having no effect.

After a weekend on these meds I felt I should try going back to work, (though I knew I still didn’t feel right). After a few hours in front of a computer display that had a discernible flicker, (don’t get me started on that topic) I was feeling absolutely dreadful. I took another Triptan wafer and headed home early. I have almost no recollection of that journey, as it was made in a complete fog. I got home and went straight to bed.

I then spent the following weeks in something of a painful and emotional limbo. I was back and forwards to the doctor so many times that I think I could draw his office from memory now. I was put on Proplanalol based beta blockers to try and get the migraines under control. They worked, to a point.

The migraines stopped, but I had persistent daily headaches. Far less severe than the migraines had been, but headaches nonetheless. I was constantly sleepy, and physically fatigued.

However, the worst effects was mental. I became exceptionally slow mentally and found it very hard to keep track of conversations. I had difficulty finding the right word, and would fumble for them fruitlessly. I was reduced to tears on one occasion because I simply could not hold a conversation. It was not a fun time, and even now I find I am not at my best. Concentration is difficult, and I am still constantly fatigued. As a result of all that, I was in no fit state to be writing anything for this blog, for which I apologise. I feel an obligation to those of you who still visit here, despite my lack of updates.

The most frustrating factor in all this is that I still don’t know what caused this to happen. At the moment it is mostly under control, but I have had one near miss already. I’m under no illusions that I am “better”. I guess it’s a waiting game, and I need to hope for a more permanent resolution.

In other news, I have played a little Diablo 3, though the pace does nasty things to my head right now. For someone who has been awaiting the arrival of D3 for many years now, this is proving to be torture.

I’ve also been playing a bit of Lord of the Rings Online, since the pace is considerably more sedate. I tried getting into LOTRO some time back, but just couldn’t. Oddly, this time seems different, and I’m having a blast. The Tolkien lore nerd in me squees every time I go somewhere familiar, or meet someone notable. My most recent moment of bliss involved a trip to Tom Bombadil’s cottage. I just want to move in with him, though I suspect Goldberry may have words to say about that!

So, I’m back, kind of. I’ll write as often as I can, (depending on having something interesting to write about). Apologies again to all those who felt let down by my absence.

PS: I also wanted to take this opportunity to tender my sincere and heartfelt thanks to those who were there to welcome me back to the fold. There are times I still feel like I am writing these posts for nothing, and that no-one cares what I have to say. It’s an old hang-up of mine, and it’s easy for me to feel irrelevant and friendless. The WoW blogging community have shown me a very different reality, and there are a large number who I would be happy and proud to call friends. None of you will ever know just how much it means to me to be accepted by you, and I will never be able to thank you sufficiently for what you give me each and every day. Thank you.

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  1. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through that – I hope there’s a resolution to be found soon. Glad you’re feeling better though :)

  2. No need to apologize. Do what you can. Everyone understands! Feel better soon!

  3. Raevyn

     /  23/05/2012

    I’m so sorry to hear about your migraines. I suffer from them, too. About 15 years ago I had a string of migraines that lasted most of a week. I remember it being the most scary and frustrating time. I hope that a solution is found or at least a tenable situation reached! The mental fatigue of multiple migraines fades the slowest and is certainly one of their more alarming side effects :(.

  4. Oh my! That must have been really terrifying. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to go through that.

    I hope you feel like yourself again soon! *hugs*

  5. Migraines are awful, I occasionally suffer from them and it’s terrible.

    No need to apologise for anything though :) Just get better and remember you have friends and people who care if you ever need to chat and chill :)


  6. Sounds like a rough time, welcome back to your blog. Sorry to hear you haven’t been well… If only you could cast greater heal on yourself.

  7. Sorry for not responding sooner, or individually.

    I’d like to thank you all so very much for your ongoing support and understanding. You really have no idea what it means to me to know that there are people like you in my life. Thank you.

    Things are improving slowly. My head is nowhere near as foggy these days, so hopefully my body has adapted to the medication a bit. I still get daily headaches, but they are not migraines any more. I’ve only had two near misses so far, which is a vast improvement.

    I’m feeling a lot more alert and interested in things again, so there should be more activity here, I hope.

    Again, thank you all for being your wonderful selves.

    *group hug*


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